The sometime weight problem.

Sometimes I wish our bodies would put on weight vertically instead of horizontally...that would have added so much beauty to eating.
Its so hard to digest the fact that someone eats just about the same food propotions (and more) and yet manage to stay like a match stick,even as you struggle and collapse at the sight of your own expanding body
 I often wonder why women have to compete with standards of zero figure models in the magazines and TV to be even remotely acceptable.
As I say this I am even wondering if there is any feasible diet plan that would make me zero figure.
I have fought and am still fighting battles with obesity throughout my less adventurous life,through pregnancy, nursing and occasional hormonal surges during stress and strain...and I seem to lose it ever so often.
Sometimes I wonder and wonder why some people live to eat (like me) while some others eat to live.
I totally don't understand people who eat to live...what a drab existence,it makes me bewildered,confused and even sympathetic towards them.
And in conclusion I would add... I love food..it nourishes me, it excites me, it fills me, it makes me glad,it titillates my senses,brings out my creativity its comforting and inviting and always makes me happy. It almost sounds like a secret lover with whom one indulges and regrets it the next day he/she mounts the scale.But in my case I'm totally married to food,no traces of guilt...a bit upset about the increasing sizes of dresses,yet,totally looking forward to the next indulgence.

Of strength and Weakness and His unending mercy.

What does strength mean?
is it the power, the control, the unshaken attitude?... or is it endurance, tolerance and going on against the odds?
Then again,what does weakness mean?
is it helplessness, defeat or brokenness? or hardened heart, selfishness and negative attitudes?

the way  I try to explain these words might explain at length where in life i stand. am i weak or a i strong....and in which sense am i weak or strong.
my strength does not lie in power or control....it lies in my endurance and faith.How else should i have made through all these years?
my weakness however is branched in two sides....it is helplessness and brokenness in one end and selfish and negative in the other side.
this self analysis holds no basis with my will....coz I am utterly helpless as to that.
 My strength lies in Jesus and my weakness is made perfect by his grace. My whole life revolves around his love and mercy...and i humble my intellect, my mind, my attitude before him... and from my brokenness he will lift me up.

WHAT IM THANKFUL FOR TODAY....

1. Adoration time with my husband for an hour. it was a blessing, after days, we could actually get a intimate glimpse of the other's heart and soul :)

2. my son's progress with speech. he sang the finishing hymn for mercy with outstretched hands.

3.having my parents with me to support me physically,strengthen me emotionaly and guide me spiritually in this hour :)

4.for God's abundant mercy...love and care

Acceptance in marriage

18 Yahweh God said, 'It is not right that the man should be alone. I shall make him a helper.'21 Then, Yahweh God made the man fall into a deep sleep. And, while he was asleep, he took one of his ribs and closed the flesh up again forthwith.
22 Yahweh God fashioned the rib he had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man.
23 And the man said: This one at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh! She is to be called Woman, because she was taken from Man.
24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Now, both of them were naked, the man and his wife, but they felt no shame before each other
GENESIS 2:18-25

And hence the first marriage was consumed,in the garden of Eden.what a beautiful institution God had founded.Yet unless the man believes that his wife is the one person God had made exclusive for him out of his own rib,and the woman believes that her husband is the man for which she was made by God the marriage is going to be failure in some level or the other.  How many fathers tell their sons to keep themselves for one girl God has made for him,to whom he owes all his love to ,for whom he should wait prayerfully.How many of the fathers testify to their sons what a blessing his mother had been to his life,because God had chosen her to be his wife and their mother. How many mothers would testify to their daughters ,what a blessing their father had been in her life, because God had chosen him.That she should keep herself like a gift for her man, that God has chosen from eternity,to whom  she owes all her love. Most parents are happy to see the children attain worldly standards, keep social status and marry a boy or a girl who is socially ,physically, educationally and economically suitable.How many parents prayerfully select  and accept their children's spouses as God's will.

30th july...

Our God is the most awesome God, and this testimony is of one such particular instance (among many) in my life where God worked miraculously by the intercession of many wonderful people in the most marvellous way.

I was 35 weeks pregnant when my water broke. The baby was 4 weeks premature and therefore doctors expressed concern regarding baby's weight, sucking reflex and the development of lungs. I prayed ardently to our dear Lord Jesus, and many interceeded for me .God blessed me with a adorable baby boy, Joel (2.93kg) much to the amazement of the doctors . God had planned everything beautifully as He touched many generous hearts to support us, in every possible way. I am appalled and awed at the tender mercy our Lord has showered. Our Lord is a merciful God, how intricately he provides and protects us. All praise and glory to Him forever and ever. 

Love

Love...Oh im a huge fan of love...wanted to be in love eversince I remember...love it...hate it...Love is one thing u cant live without.
I have wasted 29 glorious years in its quest....a decade of my prime youth...and guess wat life had taught me?
to be loved is one big thirst...one big hunger....not essentially quenched...but on the last day when I go into the arms of Jesus all the brokenness and unloved hunger will be quenched forever.

But what abt the part of loving??...if I dont love, bearing grudge and being vengeful....being depressed and not even trying...on the last day I will look back and repent..I have not loved...I should have loved...oh why dint I love???


 Essentially to love is more important in our journey than being loved. That's why we were put here in the first place,to do our part , small or big with great love.

So Loved...

Its late in the  night,a strange craving sets in, I need to eat coffee flavoured cake, and I tell my husband loving as he is, he sheepishly looks at the time and disposes it. After a while I forget all about it, but God dint...next day we have a prayer meeting at our house and someone brings a yummy big coffee cake.....as I bite a slice of it I knew who has arranged  this..and I feel overwhelmed and teary,blushing deeply. How can He? so big and mighty take care of every little need of mine?

But he does it, again and again.... I heard so many similar stories where he fulfils our needs by his abundance.
¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:29 


From a saint like mother Teresa who'se needs were nobler,to feed and clothe the poor,  to a lowly sinner like me, whose needs is rather self contained to have a piece of cake, he works mysteriously in providing for us.

I noticed this attention and care  frequently after I fell in love with him  in school. But it was an on off relationship I had with God....sometimes it was at its peak,with all my devotion fixed in him enjoying the intoxication of the holy spirit, sometimes I was rude and aloof,refusing to spend time with him since I had so much else to do. but he has been a faithful God...in my happiness and in my sorrows he had been there for me.He takes care of the tiniest details of my life.

17 The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17


We live with such unsatisfied longing for love, to love and be loved . That big need for love can never be satisfied by another human being, imperfect as we are created.Only the perfect love can quench us.

He is a caring God, observant of our needs, and grating it speedily.He jealously persues our hearts to fall in love with him and belong to him alone and no other.He schemes to make us fall in love with him....we go through rough times, we go through pain and heart breaks because he wants us to find true, lasting, fulfilling , real love in him.The love in the world is so hallow and imperfect and lacking, because that is how man was made.

"but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears."1 Cor 13:10

Wouldn't we all like to be loved this way...the choice is obvious...the choice is ours to make.God has already made up his mind.

To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek Him the greatest adventure; to find Him, the greatest achievement. ~ Augustine of Hippo