30th july...

Our God is the most awesome God, and this testimony is of one such particular instance (among many) in my life where God worked miraculously by the intercession of many wonderful people in the most marvellous way.

I was 35 weeks pregnant when my water broke. The baby was 4 weeks premature and therefore doctors expressed concern regarding baby's weight, sucking reflex and the development of lungs. I prayed ardently to our dear Lord Jesus, and many interceeded for me .God blessed me with a adorable baby boy, Joel (2.93kg) much to the amazement of the doctors . God had planned everything beautifully as He touched many generous hearts to support us, in every possible way. I am appalled and awed at the tender mercy our Lord has showered. Our Lord is a merciful God, how intricately he provides and protects us. All praise and glory to Him forever and ever. 

Love

Love...Oh im a huge fan of love...wanted to be in love eversince I remember...love it...hate it...Love is one thing u cant live without.
I have wasted 29 glorious years in its quest....a decade of my prime youth...and guess wat life had taught me?
to be loved is one big thirst...one big hunger....not essentially quenched...but on the last day when I go into the arms of Jesus all the brokenness and unloved hunger will be quenched forever.

But what abt the part of loving??...if I dont love, bearing grudge and being vengeful....being depressed and not even trying...on the last day I will look back and repent..I have not loved...I should have loved...oh why dint I love???


 Essentially to love is more important in our journey than being loved. That's why we were put here in the first place,to do our part , small or big with great love.

So Loved...

Its late in the  night,a strange craving sets in, I need to eat coffee flavoured cake, and I tell my husband loving as he is, he sheepishly looks at the time and disposes it. After a while I forget all about it, but God dint...next day we have a prayer meeting at our house and someone brings a yummy big coffee cake.....as I bite a slice of it I knew who has arranged  this..and I feel overwhelmed and teary,blushing deeply. How can He? so big and mighty take care of every little need of mine?

But he does it, again and again.... I heard so many similar stories where he fulfils our needs by his abundance.
¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:29 


From a saint like mother Teresa who'se needs were nobler,to feed and clothe the poor,  to a lowly sinner like me, whose needs is rather self contained to have a piece of cake, he works mysteriously in providing for us.

I noticed this attention and care  frequently after I fell in love with him  in school. But it was an on off relationship I had with God....sometimes it was at its peak,with all my devotion fixed in him enjoying the intoxication of the holy spirit, sometimes I was rude and aloof,refusing to spend time with him since I had so much else to do. but he has been a faithful God...in my happiness and in my sorrows he had been there for me.He takes care of the tiniest details of my life.

17 The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17


We live with such unsatisfied longing for love, to love and be loved . That big need for love can never be satisfied by another human being, imperfect as we are created.Only the perfect love can quench us.

He is a caring God, observant of our needs, and grating it speedily.He jealously persues our hearts to fall in love with him and belong to him alone and no other.He schemes to make us fall in love with him....we go through rough times, we go through pain and heart breaks because he wants us to find true, lasting, fulfilling , real love in him.The love in the world is so hallow and imperfect and lacking, because that is how man was made.

"but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears."1 Cor 13:10

Wouldn't we all like to be loved this way...the choice is obvious...the choice is ours to make.God has already made up his mind.

To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek Him the greatest adventure; to find Him, the greatest achievement. ~ Augustine of Hippo

A letter to Lil Joe

Jeremiah 1:5 - "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart"




Dear baby Joe,
Mommy wants to tell you , She loves you very much. I often wonder how you would be like? restless and busy like your brother or silent and sensible ? I often feel you moving around inside me,and a very busy boy you seem to be. I wish you to be healthy and intelligent, I bless you with all my heart...may you find favour of God and men, may you bring a smile to all you meet and may you make your parents and brother proud.
oh Joe hope you can understand all that I am writing to you...protected from the whole world, inside my womb, you lie assured...but its only a few more months for you to get ready to come out and rest in mommy's arms. don't you worry child, mommy will take care of you...and you will do fine. Daddy and Mitch are also waiting for you.You might be hearing their voices from inside....we all love you and are waiting for you.
Mommy wishes with all her heart that your first love be Jesus.And you always will find peace, assurance, and security in Jesus even when in time as years pass by the world  inflicts you with corruptness and life burdens you with problems.

lots of love and prayers
mommy
P.s. Tell Jesus to equip mummy with lots of grace to be the best mom to you and your brother.

Love of a child.

 I look across the kitchen counter,my toddler is busy eating grapes, all of a sudden the bowl just flies across the room and lands on the opposite end,with a loud bang."No mitch, ure not supposed to do that"I tell him firmly"please take it and give it to mommy".He grins, his angelic smile makes my heart all aflutter,as he runs to take the bowl,I say"good boy" reinforcing him .But without warning the bowl flies again and lands a few feet away with a  crash, it has chipped(even though the label said it can withstand tough handling)."Mittchhh...no, this is no way to behave" I am trying to control my frustration."You better come here, pick it up and give it to mommy....this is not a ball....this is a bowl,this is not for playing"  I try to explain, doubting if he had mistook the bowl for a toy.Yet knowing full well he had not, and is actually loving the crashing noise and my odd expressions and the negetive attention he is getting.Mich sports another grin his eyes very small and his neat row of rounded teeth flashing at me ,making me dizzy with an influx of maternal hormones."Look the bowl" he says innocently....I keep a straight face,"yes give io mummy now"he ran,his little feet thumbing on the floor, but before I could react, the bowl had hit my head and a throbbing pain gripped me."Mitchhhhhhh...I yelled" I got angry and irritated,soon mitch was sent to the laundry for a time out.He yelled and yammered in there, with so much pain in his voice that made me positively melt. But I had to subdue that feeling,I am his mother and its my duty to train him to have good behaviour.After a couple of minutes of battle between my brain and heart, my heart overpowered and conquored my reason...Mitch comes out running....tears are streaming from his eyes...he says "mommy and blabbers something in his baby tounge as I explain he is not to throw the bowl.He looks at me with total love , kisses me and says..."oooooh my baby" stroking my forehead . I am speechless and as I try to hold him close, he slips away singing his abc song loking for more mischief.It took him a quarter of a second to forgive and forget and find another joy.

Children are so  perfect beings....so totally lovable and with so much abundance of love that u are put to shame at akward moments when u lose your patience .The innocence, the power, the totality with which they love you makes you wonder where did you lost that child u were once.

In an adult scenario , responsible as we claim  to be,we seem to get frustrated ,cold, irritated or aloof after an episode of debate.We have so little of that infectious grins,free unrestricted expressions, and abundance of love that can be freely given at all times without inhibitions.Our love is so much measured, we feel we have so much little of that love that we are stingy to give it so abundantly to others.We don't forgive so easily, find it difficult to forget hurtful situations and afterwards we sulk and dwell on the issue instead of finding another joy and moving on.

That is why Jesus says: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven". Matthew 18.8

The story behind my blue coffee mug and his beige coffee mug

Ironically the story is much smaller than the title :)
We went to the shopping mall to get ourselves coffee mugs....I fell in love with a aquamarine blue one, and picked up two, one for him and one for me.One look at it, he frowned," Oh I love them" I insisted but the frown turned to disgust.With patience shown by a parent whose toddler has picked up a toad to take home, he took them from my hands and placed it back.After a thorough scan on the shelves he gave a satisfied grin "ah ,this is perfect".his eyes had settled on a beige coffee mug,"ugh" I said.But the mugs had already made their way into the shopping cart. Now, I dint have the patience of the parent-with-toddler-with-toad,my hands just automatically grasped the mugs and kept them back where they belonged "I hate them" I explained.After a series of" I like this one, that one sucks...",determined attitudes in verbal and non verbal expressions,and cold stares...we finally decided that coffee mugs are not socks to be bought as matching pairs....he took his favourite beige and I humbly picked up my precious blue.

Two months later, he sips his coffee in the blue mug and me in the beige one.over the weeks we had been unintentionally reaching for each other's favourite mugs and weirdly enough have  taken a strange preference to them.I don't hate  the beige mug any more, I love it.He is not disgusted with the blue mug, he loves it.

Moral of the story: Some things in life don't have logical explanations.

 Just like  our marriage, we might have different likes and preferences. Petty disagreements  arise over what we like and arguments to vainly make the other person agree to our likes. but eventually there is something greater that just blows you over,like a divine hand that's perfecting the script in time.And eventually unknowingly we start to take up each others likes and preferences.

A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. -Dave Meurer

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs3:5-6

 

 Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.Proverbs10:12

The poor me syndrome...

scene-1
I double bend to wipe the floor the umpteenth time, clutching my 7 month pregnant tummy. My toddler has yet again spilled something greasy and sticky on the floor."poor me" I think to myself.
scene2
I find it difficult to sleep, a lil nauseated by the heartburn,and I get a leg cramp... I can't  seem to reach my calf muscles as I wither in pain,both my boys, (the big one, is supposed to be up ,relieving my pain , I think)... are sleeping blissfully unaware, I think poor me.
scene3
Inspite of my varicose veins and shortness of breath I mange to cook, clean and tidy up standing for long time span...and yet my big boy unthinkingly finds something to criticize with the cleaning and doesn't comment on my cooking, and the young one makes a mess in less than a quarter of a minute, every 5 mins , all day till he sleeps...and I think to my self poor poor me.
Oh I get it all the time....its so easy to fall into its poisonous arms,to bask in its sadness,and shed a tear or two.But essentially its chronic disease feeding on your time, energy and emotions.

Romans 5:3-5

 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Oh....that makes perfect sense.- I think.

Philippians 2:14

 Do everything without grumbling or arguing,

yes ,right...I'll do that... piece of cake!-I think.

Its not so easy to come out of that addictive syndrome,however a little bit hard to shake it off  it is not impossible.Its  like to quit smoking....the temptation is high...to wallow in self pity.."poor me". But you  just have to refuse to take any more of that crap.

Instead offer your little discomforts and sufferings to JESUS...for the filling of millions of people with God's love and Holy spirit and salvation of their souls.That way you are giving Christ your suffering, for a greater cause. Remember this prayer brings about great changes, to you and the whole world.

Next time I'm in physical or mental pain..however big or however petty...its not "poor me"...its "take it Jesus and heal millions going through the same suffering".