stuff

Do we live a
Redempted Love Life?

(#1 )
We cant sin ,
even if we have been sinned against..
the scripture above tells us to follow
Jesus example..
Just because some one sins against us
hurts our feeling , or just simply treats us
wrongly,, it does not give us the right to
retaliate...
(#2)
We Cant use our mouth for Revenge..
The verse above tells us:
(23)When they hurled their insults at him,
he did not retaliate, when he suffered,
he made no threats

1Peter 3
That they may be won over,
without words but by the
behavior of their wives
It should be that of your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
which is of great worth to the Lord

(#3)
Have Faith in God and Trust Him for the Results..
We have the right to say what we need to say
but in LOVE,
And then
(now here is the Hard part)
Let it go.....
After all, Who is the Enforcer?
Its not US,, We know we cant
force some one to change,, nag them into submission
But with Love , God can soften their hearts
from the inside out..
(#4)
We have to be willing to do the Right thing
even when it feels like someone is
doing you wrong..
99% of problems in Marriage happens because of what people say.
Here we go back to the law of
Reeping and Sowing..
You can not use unrighteous means
and expect a pleasurable Harvest..
And planted seeds , take time to grow and flurish..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So lets turn it over to God
Get in our prayer closets
and its okay to let God know if
someone has hurt our feelings
if we feel lonely or discouraged.
He knows how we feel, and he cares.
But we have to let him do HIS work
in Us and in Others..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the mean time..
Keep Praying..
Be Commited to Save our Family and Marriage
Trust God ...He knows what his is doing..
And Lets Live a Redemptive Love Life.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

The Marriage Covenant Rules
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Identify the architect of marriage
(God)

*Watch your source of influence
(Do not allow "everyone" the privilege to speak into your life and marriage)

*Work at it..
(Scheduled maintenance, is required)

*Settle the arguement ~ Not the score
If you trust God to lead in your husband for your sake
(weither he is a believer or not)

You dont have to agrue that you are "Right"
God will make it right..

:) Wana share this from : Heart of the Home.

Remember who you are!
You are a Jesus Girl !
You are not a failure,
you are not incapable
you are not a loser,,
You are none of those things,,
You are a Jesus Girl..
Your are capable of victory
you are absolutely capable of being empowered
God Loves You.
Head to Toe..
Remember Who You Are....
You are a Jesus Girl

We are Jesus Girls..
God has a plan for each and everyone of us.
Jeremiah 29:11
Satan (aka~the chump)
works daily , and even moment to moment
to bring doubt and to keep us in bondage
by our past choices.
but who does he think he is dealing with..
We are Jesus Girl
We are Bold, Beautiful, Confident,
Grace Given ♥ Jesus Girls
So Remember Who You Are

Lord hear my prayer.

Keeping Priorities clear....

Consider this scenario: In a remote forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth to a baby. It finds a
remote grass field near by a river and slowly goes there thinking it would be safe. As she moves slowly, she gets labor pain…. at the same moment, dark clouds gather around that area and lightning starts a forest fire. Turning left she sees a hunter who is aiming an arrow from a distance. As she tries to move towards right, she spots a hungry lion approaching towards her.

Stochastic Probability Theory - Pregnant Deer Scenario
What can the pregnant deer do ….as she is already under labor pain ?
…
…
…
What do you think will happen ?
Will the deer survive ?
Will it give birth to a fawn ?
Will the fawn survive ? or
Will everything be burnt by the forest fire ?
…
…
…
…

That particular moment ?
…
…
…

Can the deer go left ? – Hunter’s arrow is pointing

Can she go right ? – Hungry male lion approaching

Can she move up ? – Forest fire

Can she move down ? – Fierce river


Answer: She does nothing. She just focuses on giving birth to a new LIFE.
The sequence of events that happens at that fraction of a second (moment) are as follows:
In a spur of MOMENT …a lightning strikes (already it is cloudy ) and blinds the eyes of the Hunter. At that MOMENT, he releases the arrow missing and zipping past the deer. At that MOMENT the arrow hits and injures the lion badly. At that MOMENT, it starts to rain heavily and puts out the forest fire. At that next MOMENT, the deer gives birth to a healthy fawn.
In our life, it’s our MOMENT of CHOICE and we all have to deal with such negative thoughts from all sides always. Some thoughts are so powerful they overpower us and makes us clueless. Let us not decide anything in a hurry. Let’s think of ourselves as the pregnant deer with the ultimate happy ending. Anything can happen in a MOMENT in this life. We all feel the same. But, whatever one may call it, I would see the priority of the deer in that given moment was to giving birth to a baby…. because LIFE IS PRECIOUS.
Hence, whether you are deer or a human, keep that faith and hope within you always.

Dear lord Jesus, your mercy is all we need to surpass every negativity and petrifieng situations.be especially near us and guide us through such moments,always focusing on our priorities not the tormenting forces or obstacles.send your holy angels to protect us. send your Holy spirit to strenghen us and counsel us . amen.

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.


1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.


5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

The virtues

The VIRTUES, [the usual translation of the name of this order of angels as "virtues" is readily misleading if the old meaning of the word "virtue" as "power" or "force", especially as regards to divine beings (cf Oxford English Dictionary), is not remembered. Note of translator.] filled with divine strength, quickly fulfill the will of the All-High and Omnipotent Lord, strong and powerful. They both work very great miracles and send down the grace of miracle-working to God's saints, who are worthy of such grace, in order that these may work miracles, such as heal every sickness and foretell the future. The holy virtues also help people laboring and those overburdened by the bearing of an obedience placed on them by someone - by which their names "virtues" is explained - and they bear the infirmities of the weak. They also strengthen every man in patience, so that he does not faint away in affliction but rather bears all misfortune with a strong spirit, courageously, and with humility, giving thanks for everything to God, arranging all for our benefit.





The "Virtues" or "Strongholds" lie beyond the ophanim (Thrones/Wheels). Their primary duty is to supervise the movements of the heavenly bodies in order to ensure that the cosmos remains in order.






From Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite's De Coelesti Hierarchia:


"The name of the holy Virtues signifies a certain powerful and unshakable virility welling forth into all their Godlike energies; not being weak and feeble for any reception of the divine Illuminations granted to it; mounting upwards in fullness of power to an assimilation with God; never falling away from the Divine Life through its own weakness, but ascending unwaveringly to the superessential Virtue which is the Source of virtue: fashioning itself, as far as it may, in virtue; perfectly turned towards the Source of virtue, and flowing forth providentially to those below it, abundantly filling them with virtue."[9]

The powers

The POWERS are so called because they have power over the devil, in order to restrain the power of the demons, to repulse the temptations brought upon people by them, and to prevent the demons from harming anyone to the degree that they would wish. The powers strengthen the good ascetics in spiritual struggles and labors, protecting them so that they may not be deprived of the spiritual kingdom. They help those wrestling with passions and vices to cast out evil thoughts and slanders of the enemy and to conquer the devil.






The "Powers" appear to collaborate, in power and authority, with the Principalities (Rulers).

The Powers are the bearers of conscience and the keepers of history. They are also the warrior angels created to be completely loyal to God. Some believe that no Power has ever fallen from grace, but another theory states that Satan was the Chief of the Powers before he Fell (see also Ephesians 6:12). Their duty is to oversee the distribution of power among humankind, hence their name.

The dominions

Angels of the Second Sphere work as heavenly governors.

The "Dominions" or "Dominations" are presented as the hierarchy of celestial beings "Lordships" in the De Coelesti Hierarchia. The Dominions, also known as the Hashmallim, regulate the duties of lower angels. It is only with extreme rarity that the angelic lords make themselves physically known to humans. They are also the angels who preside over nations.

The Dominions are believed to look like divinely beautiful humans with a pair of feathered wings, much like the common representation of angels, but they may be distinguished from other groups by wielding orbs of light fastened to the heads of their scepters or on the pommel of their swords.




The DOMINIONS are so named because, being themselves free, they dominate over the rest of the angels which follow behind them. Having abandoned servile fear, as St Dionysius the Aeropagite says, they voluntarily and with joy serve God unceasingly. Also they send down power for prudent governing and wise management to authorities on the earth set up by God. Further they teach how to control the senses, how to subdue in oneself dissolute desires and passions, how to enslave the flesh to the spirit, and how to rule over one's will and be above all temptations.

The Thrones

The Thrones  are a class of celestial beings mentioned by Paul of Tarsus in Colossians 1:16 (New Testament) and related to the Throne of God. They are living symbols of God's justice and authority. According to the New Testament, these high celestial beings are among those Orders at the Christ's service.[1][2] The Thrones are mentioned again in Revelation 11:16




God's Spirit is shown in a certain manner to these angels, who in turn pass on the message to men and the other angels.

Thrones are known in scripture as the bringers of justice, but their status in hierarchy is often confused, sometimes placing them above the Seraphim, and sometimes placing them at the same level as the Cherubim. They do however, come in the second Choir, and are assigned to planets.

This position makes them some of the most powerful angels in service to the Lord. According to St. Thomas Aquinas, the Thrones have the task of pondering the disposition of divine judgments. In other words, they carry out or fulfill the divine justice of the Lord.

They create, channel and collect incoming and outgoing positive energies. Dispensation of justice is important to the Thrones and they send healing energies to victims while shining a light on injustice to bring its presence to our attention.

Like their counterparts in the second angelic triad, they come the closest of all Angels to spiritual perfection and emanate the light of God with mirror-like goodness. They, despite their greatness, are intensely humble, an attribute that allows them to dispense justice with perfect objectivity and without fear of pride or ambition. Because they are living symbols of God's justice and authority, they are called Thrones and have as one of their symbols the throne.

The Cherubim angels

Cherubim first appear in the Bible in the Garden of Eden, to guard the way to the Tree of life



In Isaiah 37:16, Hezekiah prays, addressing Yahweh as "enthroned above the Cherubim" (referring to the mercy seat).




Cherubim feature at some length in the Book of Ezekiel. When they first appear in chapter one, when Ezekiel was "by the river Chebar", they are not called cherubim until chapter 10, but he saw "the likeness of four living creatures". (Ezekiel 1:5) Each of them had four faces and four wings, with straight feet with a sole like the sole of a calf's foot, and "hands of a man" under their wings. Each had four faces: The face of a man, the face of a lion on the right side, the face of an ox on the left side, and the face of an eagle. (Ezekiel 1:6-10)




In Ezekiel chapter ten, another full description of the Cherubim appears with slight differences in details. Three of the four faces are the same; man, lion and eagle; but where chapter one had the face of an ox, Ezekiel 10:14 says "face of a cherub". Ezekiel equates the Cherubim of chapter ten with the living creature of chapter one by saying: "This is the living creature that I saw by the river of Chebar", in Ezekiel 10:15, and in Ezekiel 10:20 he said: "This is the living creature that I saw under the God of Israel by the river of Chebar; and I knew that they were the cherubim."




In a psalm of David that appears in 2 Samuel 22:11 and Psalms 18:10, David said that the LORD "rode upon a cherub, and did fly: and he was seen upon the wings of the wind."




The words Cherub and Cherubim appear many other times in the holy scriptures, referring to the Cherubim of beaten gold on the mercy seat of the Ark of the Covenant, and images on the curtains of the tabernacle, and in Solomon's temple, including two Cherubim made of olive wood overlaid with gold that were ten cubits high.[11]

The Seraphim angels

They are the caretakers of God's throne, continuously singing "holy, holy, holy".

"The name seraphim clearly indicates their ceaseless and eternal revolution about Divine Principles, their heat and keenness, the exuberance of their intense, perpetual, tireless activity, and their elevative and energetic assimilation of those below, kindling them and firing them to their own heat, and wholly purifying them by a burning and all-consuming flame; and by the unhidden, unquenchable, changeless, radiant and enlightening power, dispelling and destroying the shadows of darkness"[7]

Thomas Aquinas in his Summa Theologiae offers a description of the nature of seraphs:"The name 'Seraphim' does not come from charity only, but from the excess of charity, expressed by the word ardor or fire.
 Now in fire we may consider three things

."First, the movement which is upwards and continuous. This signifies that they are borne inflexibly towards God.

"Secondly, the active force which is 'heat,' which is not found in fire simply, but exists with a certain sharpness, as being of most penetrating action, and reaching even to the smallest things, and as it were, with superabundant fervor; whereby is signified the action of these angels, exercised powerfully upon those who are subject to them, rousing them to a like fervor, and cleansing them wholly by their heat.

"Thirdly we consider in fire the quality of clarity, or brightness; which signifies that these angels have in themselves an inextinguishable light, and that they also perfectly enlighten others."

A movie.....

I saw this really cute movie , thattathin marayathil.It was some how very innocent and downright honest with a balanced flavour of laughter well ingrained between massive chunks of innocent love.It kind of blew my head off...with its breezy screenplay and powerful on screen rendering. hats off to vineeth sreenivasan...totally admire his multifaceted  creativity...which is genuine and not borrowed like millions of others.Totally loved actors, the crew and that excellent positive vibes that totally enthralls you right into the core of the movie.

I might have never been in this kind of a love but sure could identify with its honesty and innocence. Guess people might love like that only one time in their whole life time...then they grow up...learn from it,get built-up or broken by it.... get transformed....and never ever are the same again.never ever i guess do they love anyone else again....
its profound yet sad....i know it.
if a movie could bring about such sentiments and philosophies in me that would scream out to be a must watch.for the screenplay sake, for the directors, sake for the actors sake.,..for love's sake.

A sigh of relief.

As usual we had conversations that went wild and followed the same pattern of hurt,withdrawal and numbness.I cried and that was a huge relief coz increasingly lately I had suspected my heart to have hardened, coz nothing he said would affect me...somewhere I had lost hope in him.Yet the very instance that i felt , what he thought of me(negative as it is) could actually make me cry was quite relieving. But I know all the while Jesus keeps my heart...so anyone or anything would have to go through him to reach me.

Strangely all cutting remarks made me feel immensely big....

when would we break free of these destructive patterns of blaming and hurt and instead of fighting each other would fight for each other???.....when will we stop being strangers...to be friends and more than that?

Jesus heal our marriage.Ressuruct it from the dead.

Love

"God is love, But love can be hated when it challenges us to transcend ourselves. It is not a romantic 'good feeling'... it is not about basking in self-indulgence; on the contrary, it is a liberation from self-absorption. This liberation comes at a price: the anguish of the Cross" (Pope Benedict, Jesus of Nazareth: The Infancy Narratives, p. 86).

To live :)

Loving him....with Christ.

I love him..my husband.and its as simple as that... sometimes its an effort when i feel he disowns me and takes no effort to love me...and thats another issue and lets leave it at that.Even as i have been writing about how uncaring he becomes...there are times when he can actually make me feel so special and i geuss its only investment he needs to make to get an all covered love insurance from me :)

women are sometimes so naive, all they need is a bit of admiration , a loving word or two, a spontaneous moment of fun or laughter or just a listening ear, a bit of help when she feels overwhelmde...i guess all women long from deep within to just belong to that one man of her dreams .to be thought of as a special someone no one can replace. and i wish men would just make their women feel that way , the only real investment they have to make in life, and such simple things would go a far way in maintaining the tone and stability of marriage .because essentially it makes her secure,and security roots a woman, just like love blooms her in the family.

Men can be tough cookies to crack...pulling on layers and walls and an odd detachment.essentially women need not go cracking this cookie and getting herself all worked up.remember that you're not there alone, there is this third person in every christian marriage who can actually make way through oceans,who can control storms and for who nothing is impossible.

So my dear ladies, my beloved young wives who struggle under a yoke of a hard marriage, cast your burdens unto jesus, and lol he cares for you.isnt that the most extraordinary thing, we who have much power in christ fall apart helpless. when you are tired of yelling yammering crying and crying ....kneel down.And let him help you out, take control of things you cant do anything, like his attitude , or his detatchment or anything you are struggling with. coz he can heal, he can transform and he can make things new.:) how great is that!!!

Facebook fun :)

The narrow road.

I kind of understand the whole concept of the biblical narrow road to heaven. "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. its more like the situation i face i face day after day.its narrow suffercating and full of thorns and obstacles of every sort.The end of the day its a hard journey.
The key is persistance.I see light, I see unfathomable blessings all waiting if I only follow this road.Its easier to give up and take a easier road...but an easier road might not be Gods path to reach the state of christian perfection.
 Easier said than done...the path is narrow and hard indeed, sometimes very lonely...yet there is one promise that we can hold on to."My grace suffices you".Without God's grace this seems impossible but for us who are called he will turn everything for our good...only by his grace.For in our weakness He is strong.
 Lord help me to bear it all bravely and with grace....not yelling screaming and making a scene. i was often broken yet i recovered but now i feel defeated i feel ashamed and despaired.i need your grace to keep going this narrow road...hoping one day I will witness great happiness.

 I found out that sacrificing love is not something inborn in men and women...as I had believed ...its a matter of choice..a choice made each day everyday...through thick and thin and even when everything slips under your feet and people let you down or shove you away.Its a choice to be made willingly every second.And everything is possible through Christ who strengthens me.

Breaking free from grey shades.

My life was once simple...everything revolved around innocence.There were clear markings of what was right and what was wrong. My mom, a proverb 31 woman made sure she raised Godly children with had a clear picture of what sin meant.What was right was right and was the only way to follow...what was wrong was wrong and should be avoided at all costs, and if anyone did wrong one should repent and reconcile. Then my life became complicated... I married and was on a yoke of grey scales. My husband is a easy going guy with no particular inclinations to right and wrong.As long as one's needs are met right and wrong doesn't matter and that extends to little things as well as to big things.A kind of lifestyle where rules can bend and break, just to make things run smoothly or to get one's will done.Here the right is often wrong in some scenarios and the wrong becomes right and justifiable.From little things like faking signatures to big things like justification and acceptance of past illegitimate relationships blew my top off.A strange world where no one repented or reconciled but just shoved off blame and ridicule at your face...and then smile.Grey..Grey Grey....where is the black and white? I yelled and yammered then I bent and whimpered and finally downright broke down in this chaotic complexity where I dint fit in. I cant understand his attitudes,philosophies or visions on life and neither can he understand my values,principals and visions in life. I cant be in a grey scale..neither should he.We are not pagans.We are living according to the God's word.How can we live like hypocrites? I

I bind all shallowness, all selfishness, self-interest and wrong ideologies and all sorts of evil the world gives in Jesus's mighty name.Let God shower his wisdom and understanding to overcome all hardened corners of our hearts.Let us not be lukewarm but be ignited in the power of Lord Jesus Christ.

Sharing a good song....

The mystery...the answer..our God!!!

The cycle of hurt.

Lord grant that our family be let loose from the cycle of hurt. Heal the true roots of hurts.Let each of us consciously decide not to hurt....and never to return a hurt with another hurt.Grant us strength to break loose the chains of hurt that go in circles affecting many.Teach us the language of LOVE.

For better or for worst?

 Of all the things in life, i have to deal with..a gaming PC, its not what I need right now. In midst of a special need marriage already screaming for time and togetherness .... I totally don't know how adversely a gaming pc can affect. A hard core gadget freak, my husband would spent limitless time adoring ,exploring,entertaining...in short have a long passionate affair with that flashy piece of man's sad inventions.
and the burden it would be to our financial balance is no child play. He chooses to see the negative sides...his positives are convincing...yet.....! Lord our limited brains and understanding and worldly inclinations are no good at knowing what's best for us.Grant us ur infinite mercy ...send us your holy spirit the divine counsellor...inspire us to do what is right and just.... not my will..not my husbands will...but your will be done.In Jesus's  mighty name. amen. 

Mommy's prayer.

 Ma dear darling boy, the first born angel....ma lil sugar.How i love you , yet how i'm not reaching into ur heart, u seem to be in a your own world. mommy's scared sometimes u might be like the rest. ur innocence overwhelms me darling. yet sometimes u show no understanding, always running around in ur frenzied rythm. mommy prayes for u darling...mommy knows Jesus will heal you.He is yahove rapha..the healer ....his touch is sufficient to rejuvinate your reason and understanding,give you selfcontrol and spirit of peace.I love u my child the way you are...i want youu to grow in love and obedience of God andd ur parents.I want you to do great things for Jesus.mom and dad often dunno how and what but Jesus knows...mom and dad will ask jesus's counsel to help u out the way you want to be helped. sorry for all the times u were misunderstood or no delt with the way you should have been....and the times world's worry overcame the attention u deserved.Jesus my child will open the  knots of your tounge, the knots in your brain, the knots in your body and soul.sugar i give you today to jesus, let him hold you always everywhere everytime. i trust no other.i promise you i will try the best to be the mother u need....to love you unconditionally...to nurture u, to train u ,to dicipline you in Jesus's mighty name.
my heart melts at ur smile,yearns for ur sound whenu sleep...worries over you all the time....child u are always in my mindd...and i lift u up to jesus.
amen.

I need a miracle!

Dear Jesus,
I know this mail finds you with much ardent love for me and my family.Lord this is a formal invitation to my family. Lord please come and abide...we need you here most urgently.We are in midst of a colourless, odourless,tasteless marriage.Everything seems to have gone numb, nothing is alive but my struggles to reach him.the only noise that can be heard is my low whimpers as a result of long  hard crying , and a low click noise that's been haunting me from the first day of marriage.

lord I'm trying hard to keep our love burning...but I think he doesn't care.his priorities lie on his work he says. I find myself losing hope . I'm tired of crying alone, of sleeping alone,of doing chores alone, of talking to myself, dreaming a future myself,of being myself.The 4 walls enclose my struggles,my tears, my groans of despair without ever reaching anyone who cares or comforts.  He sees me struggling but is stone faced.

I'm tired of waiting ,one thing after the other always comes by...new software's new hard wares  new downloads, new installations, new research, or just plain *....this pattern goes on and on and on... I'm always kept on hold. on hold...and a creepy music that's being played as I wait are my babies crying..... my heart breaking ....my life wasting.
He  is stone cold,nothing I say or do or touch or kiss reach him...its like he has lost himself beyond repair in a cyber world.Lord I beseech come and do a miracle. create wine.... I have put vases of tears...lord come and make our marriage a true wine....much joyful and getting stronger everyday.
I want love,joy laughter, peace,... take away the click click from my life.save us lord do a miracle.
love and prayers
L

Looking at Christ.

I look at myself and find  bitterness induced negativity, brokenness and a strange helplessness.

 But in Christ I am clothed in joy, strength, dignity and freedom.

I look at my husband and find flaws, rejection, aloofness and betrayal during every crisis.

But in Christ I see him God ordained head of the family, the mate he chose from eternity, flawless and totally lovable.

I look at my children I see fear of their future, the worry over every phase of development,their little mistakes and fear of failure as a mother.

But in Christ I see them florishing, God fearing, healthy, joyful and myself a capable proud mom.

I look at our family see our disorganized routines, financial messes,lack of judgement and unstable future.

but in Christ I see the plan of God,the providence of God, the healing of God ,the peace of God and a great purpose for us as a family.


Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. psalms 344:5

My dear brothers and sisters in christ if you are here today dont look at yourself, your husband, children or family in dispair look at CHRIST who can change your whole life in a fraction of a second.

Not every marriage so lucky.

No that's is a very bitter spot on at least a handful of women.Women who never amount to anything in the eyes of the spouse. She occupies the last of his priorities,stranger in "His" family."Her" family...is said to be  her mom and dad whom she left the day of her marriage. And she  is never worth fighting for...save be of any significance in his extended family.At this point one might think...dint God call him and her to start a family of their own...oh no...no in this case no.she is just added to his already existing family with due respect. The children will be of greater significance because they are blood relations, next important to already existing family members.But a gal from another family, especially if she is shy too, will always be in the backdrop of her husbands busy life. such gals should have found guys who genuinely liked them and shouldnot have tried tin into a guy's compromised marriage, coz all her life she will be compromising and never seek to be loved.

if she claims her wife-ly position she is subdued by cold shoulders and given silent treatment till she understands her true position.if she cries she is ignored.if she smiles no one cares.if she does something it is faulty, if she doesn't then why the heck did she marry?be independent,they say, don't be a nuicence....if she takes a decision then hell breaks loose....she is taught a lesson for life,and every one in the family agrees she rightly deserves it.if people who care question this "'punishment"..oh they are evil to the core for asking.my dear women who suffer insignificance...you r doing a great job hanging in there in midst of chaos.Not everyone can do it,im so proud of you.

saying this i congratulate every single girl who had a beautiful marriage. God bless you.I am so happy for you gals.i hope you understand at length how lucky you are to get such admiration and care from the man u have to live ur entire life with.love your guys a lil extra for their righteous hearts and devoted minds.

Bloom where u are planted...happy or sad, God placed you there for a purpose.Do ur part, and leave the rest to GOD to whome you are so significant that he would give up entire nations for YOU:). Peace and good cheer.

This is what I intend to do!

"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME"

I'm letting go of all the neglect and isolation at the heart of Jesus.....
I'm letting go of all the times i was rejected  physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually....at the heart of JESUS.
I'm  letting go all the time my husband wasn't there for me...at the heart of JESUS.
I'm letting go all  the  infinite times my husband dint comfort me when all I wanted of him  was to hold me close...at the heart of JESUS.
I'm letting go of all his past baggage that's haunting me ....at the heart of JESUS.
I'm letting go of all pain and humiliation unjustly suffered...alone...at the heart of Jesus.
I'm letting go of my want to be loved, accepted, comforted, cherished, appreciated,at the heart of Jesus.
I'm letting go of my weakness and shyness at the heart of Jesus
I'm letting go of all that I value, my husband,children,my family at the heart of Jesus
I'm letting go of all worry, anxiety, brokenness,worthlessness at the heart of Jesus.

Let his wounded heart be my refuge and strength.
Let his grace suffice me.
Let his love overpower me.
Let his spirit set me on fire.
Let his blood wash my sins.
Let his name strenghten me.
Let his justice give me dignity.
Let my identity be difined by him.
Let his hope fill my future with laughter and joy. amen

What it takes to be a christian wife.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." (Jeremiah 29:11-12,)


When God called me to marriage to be quite frank I was quiet unequipped, a new wife just exploring a new life outside the confines of her parent's safe nest.it might add to the situation that I was naive to one extend and idealistic to the other, and unfortunately the world was neither righteous nor straight-faced.. I fell into the hands of what you describe a tall dark handsome man the kind of man who knew too much of the world's corruptness, and who was silent and aloof..the kind that you find in romance novels.the man I naively wanted to win over with my love.the romantic in me was totally desperately in love with him...the kind of love  that totally ignites your existence  and nothing matters except  being with him. I was walking in a cloud...thinking, dreaming,wishing a future for us.our love would have been phenomenal ,but unfortunately,he had been there,done that...except the girl was never me. his past was a fuming acid I drank one night he spilled it on me...and the burns yet remain afresh till today, coz the one who wounded never bothered to stop by and rub an ointment of words,touch or promise.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

It was shocking for me and totally enigmatic,this man, who defiles all my ideal philosophies and lives in a strange cocoon where I am never allowed to enter.he nurtured strange sorrows, unhealed wounds,an odd wilful control of body and mind,weird philosophies on past sins,a shallow Christian life and peculiar emotions for me as a wife.he never truly loved me, never truly hates me...a strange mix of emotions often contained in a few moments of bliss, long painful spells of aloofness,silence and rejection and sarcastic comments that broke me.The truth is I never could reach him even as I tried hard, I just wanted to belong to him, be his everything.but he has cocooned himself in a strange world where I dint matter,my attempts to reach out to him was like flinging myself on a rock wall. for four long years I have been banging tooth and nail to reach out to him,to feel what he really is like inside.sadly unless he opens up I can never reach there.but this long struggle to win him to be mine, or at least to belong to him...has led my heart to tatters.with this man i was always unguarded,and he just uncaring broke my heart.

If I ask him he would switch to silent mode or say some sarcastic comment or say in a flat unconvincing note he loves me in a way I don't understand. and sadly enough I retreat to nurse my wounds of rejection, and an odd suffercation unable to vent my dissapointment .
We have never discussed parenthood,important decisions  or as a matter a fact running the house together as a couple....its always a question mark.what I try to do might not end up well coz he is neither involving nor sharing the duties.he does do his share when it pleases him...on and off like his mood swings ..its never stable,never as a couple.he is torn between a busy bachelor and a family man...and often is a busy bachelor..not a busy spouse or busy father...coz I see accusal in his eyes as if he is being dragged to do duties he is not a part of.and I unknowingly feel urged to apologize. where is my married spouse? who is this bachelor I am living with.
To my heart I say he will change, he will love me truly one day...and that day ours will be the blessed household ever.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

(Jesus said) "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20

Yet as I look back even through brokenness, rejection, betrayal in crisis... I see the beautiful design , two adorable children and faith to keep going.and strangely enough I was equipped for this marriage...my parents had given me Jesus, to hold on even when the ground beneath me was ripped.A faith and faithfulness to remain grounded through crisis,though alone,in the God ordained role. Even if I did give my best, I could have done better... and better myself every day for fresh challenges.



Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9,)

Our brokenness in the family should be fixed before it influences our beautiful children,I am ready to sacrifice any length and hope Jesus reforms his heart as well.breaks his cocoon and discards it forever,I need my love,my friend,my guide and head of family....the children a Godly, righteous father who will lead them to God.

 Dear LORD....when I strive alone...be my guide,.Don't let me be harsh on my husband and children just because i am hurting inside.Because i am not to be judging anyone,all judgement belongs to You alone.I am not perfect, he is not perfect...there is a lot of emotional turmoil in both of us. A vast amount of past hurts and emotional baggages bounds him...his genes and home environment has taught him to treat his wife in a very low way... that's how he has seen his dad treating his mom. He has to break away from his bondages....to love me truly. Lord help him, heal him...prepare him to joyfully serve the position you have designed for him.As the head of the family,to shepherd our family to your grace and mercy.

prayer for moms and babes

Dear lord Jesus  Christ,
bless all the moms and babes of this world ,that they might hold fast to you during all times,through joys, through tears, through difficulties and confusions.Open the hearts of the moms and babes to your love, peace, and fire of the holy spirit.Open the hearts of the moms to love, adore you and lean on you when situations are overwhelming.Open the hearts of the babes to your Words and everlasting love throuhg the counsel and encouragement of their parents. amen

great new looks evry day :)

...will I endure?

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one.Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."mark

I'm in a total fix....a fix im ashamed to share. my husband is planing to bring my in-laws home.he thinks it will be a great help...but i doubt it. but why am I getting panicky? that's so unchristian....!!!! thats precisely why i am ashamed.

My in-laws never liked me and sort of hate me too. Many times they have been rude and accusing. They primarily agreed to get me to marry only for the sake of the dowry money.(and I'm not exaggerating it). My hesitance in giving it for their purposes has made them to loath me so.They mostly maintain a polished behaviour in front of their son...but behind his back they are very rude to me.Often they find fault with every little thing I do.They have often said that they don't like me to live with their son and only if I go away from their family they will get peace.Much to my dismay they call me mentally sick at my face and to other people behind my back!!! There is reason for my panic and fear.The fear of saving my marriage.

What's the role of my dear husband in all this? Well he is lukewarm in his love to me...he neither hates me nor loves me fully...and making him try to understand what I feel , what they did to me, just makes him get angry at me for bringing up useless topics and talking bad about his parents... I swallow my tongue and retreat.Nothing remains to be said to someone who doesn't want to understand, who is prejudiced against me and who never consoles or builds up my esteem. I do love him...and always will no matter how he stabs my heart. Often I feel I could never get through to him if I'm not his blood.He loves his mom, dad, sis, sons ,cousins, ....but who am I to him? Just a odd addition to his life since some years . I'm not even a lover or friend i think...just a silly acquaintance he met and keeps meeting everyday.

People have asked us about issues in my family... I never doubted...unless he leaves me for another i will never walk away(even when I'm tempted too) I might stick on between accusations and hate.But what if the kick me out as they told me...What if they scheme to make my husband leave me?... I'm scared.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. psalms 56:8

If only he loved me enough...if only i could share to him my feelings without hesitance ..if only he dint judged me for what i feel....but understood me...yet advised me of Godly conduct and encourage me to love...to support me at all times... Isn't it every girl's dream?

 I am obliged to love my in-laws by law...and I do .But living everyday in midst of a family that thinks me a stranger that's good to be disposed....with no support from anyone...not even from the man who by law is supposed to support me through thick and thin,is an uphill, period. I'm tempted like running away with my children to some place leaving their family blood and bonds at peace.but for the sake of the sacred institution of marriage...my husband and children.. I have to stand this test with faith and prayer.


GOD IS MY AID.God understands....and He knows even  what we think and do in secret.he knows my heart...and how I feel and how I felt .He is there for me always.He knows my husband's heart too. he judges no one...  He will bring peace, acceptance and love in our marriage that he planned from eternity.

WHY DOES NEGATIVITY SEEM INTELLIGENT ???

I came across a negative blog today. And it was creepy to the bones.she rambled on and on bluntly accusing,herself and others...not believing in anything.not believing in anyone...completely chaotic and suicidal.
Two things struck me when I read that blog .

Firstly...that how much audience that negativity attracted...The bluntness , cynicism and  mysterious abstractness in it almost looks very intelligent to the readers. It gradually sucks one into a abyss of bitterness yet one thinks its absolutely brilliant.How can goodness and innocence seem so less intelligent and insignificant is still beyond me.The world absorbs negativity with so much enthusiasm...and despises goodness, innocence,virtue, simplicity with much vigour.

Secondly it seemed apparent how much she needs God in her life.My heart wept for her and I wished desperately for her to feel the love of God.everyone needs to find God to be fulfilled am thankful I have faith to hold me near the awesome God.but what about the ones who don't have faith... don't know God... don't know what real love is....

Perhaps I would have been like her, if I dint have GOD.

Follow your heart.....and such crap.

I hear soul tearing romantic songs...Strumming on my emptiness ....resonating my loneliness .....and emphasizing the need to find the one that will make me complete .... I read romantic books that makes me long for such exquisite pleasures of love and life and freedom.

I see advertisements that takes promises me to make me more beautiful, persuasive gadgets which are said to make my life better...things I cannot be happy without ,or so "they" say .

The movies and the magazines and media everywhere go on and on about following your heart, doing what makes you happy(even if its a sin) ,buying things to make you fulfilled and seeking people to make you complete.All this seeking and longing and wanting for fulfilment and happiness???!!! This is the crap the satan sells to us today...the forbidden fruit he offered eve is sold today as an answer to all the emotional ,physical and spiritual emptiness .This fruit that nourishes the deep-rooted selfishness in us essentially would rob us of all true happiness .

 He(satan) was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

Nothing and no one can make one complete or happy in the long run. Everything will fade away in time...hearts will be broken, things will rust away and the emptiness eventually comes back.Only thing that is steadfast in this perishing world is the love of God.

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.Romans 8:38-39

Whatever life situation I am placed...is for a purpose.My heart should abide only in Christ,coz 
his love for me is abundant and endless and fulfilling.

FOLLOWING one's  HEART....would lead to chaos. ITS SELFISHNESS SOLD IN GLOSSY 

PACKET.I may yearn for things that I cannot afford or even want..I might meet people 
whom are like minded and would think might be a potential soul mate!!! And in this pursuit of 
following my selfish whims i cannot put at stake where I was placed. I have to bloom where i 
am planted. give in, give up ,nourish and bring up fruits in the life at present.

.The grass withers and the flower fades.   But the word of the Lord remains forever.”1 Peter 1:24

JESUS.....completes me.

JESUS.....makes my life better.

In JESUS.....i find freedom, fullfillment and happiness.

The sometime weight problem.

Sometimes I wish our bodies would put on weight vertically instead of horizontally...that would have added so much beauty to eating.
Its so hard to digest the fact that someone eats just about the same food propotions (and more) and yet manage to stay like a match stick,even as you struggle and collapse at the sight of your own expanding body
 I often wonder why women have to compete with standards of zero figure models in the magazines and TV to be even remotely acceptable.
As I say this I am even wondering if there is any feasible diet plan that would make me zero figure.
I have fought and am still fighting battles with obesity throughout my less adventurous life,through pregnancy, nursing and occasional hormonal surges during stress and strain...and I seem to lose it ever so often.
Sometimes I wonder and wonder why some people live to eat (like me) while some others eat to live.
I totally don't understand people who eat to live...what a drab existence,it makes me bewildered,confused and even sympathetic towards them.
And in conclusion I would add... I love food..it nourishes me, it excites me, it fills me, it makes me glad,it titillates my senses,brings out my creativity its comforting and inviting and always makes me happy. It almost sounds like a secret lover with whom one indulges and regrets it the next day he/she mounts the scale.But in my case I'm totally married to food,no traces of guilt...a bit upset about the increasing sizes of dresses,yet,totally looking forward to the next indulgence.

Of strength and Weakness and His unending mercy.

What does strength mean?
is it the power, the control, the unshaken attitude?... or is it endurance, tolerance and going on against the odds?
Then again,what does weakness mean?
is it helplessness, defeat or brokenness? or hardened heart, selfishness and negative attitudes?

the way  I try to explain these words might explain at length where in life i stand. am i weak or a i strong....and in which sense am i weak or strong.
my strength does not lie in power or control....it lies in my endurance and faith.How else should i have made through all these years?
my weakness however is branched in two sides....it is helplessness and brokenness in one end and selfish and negative in the other side.
this self analysis holds no basis with my will....coz I am utterly helpless as to that.
 My strength lies in Jesus and my weakness is made perfect by his grace. My whole life revolves around his love and mercy...and i humble my intellect, my mind, my attitude before him... and from my brokenness he will lift me up.

WHAT IM THANKFUL FOR TODAY....

1. Adoration time with my husband for an hour. it was a blessing, after days, we could actually get a intimate glimpse of the other's heart and soul :)

2. my son's progress with speech. he sang the finishing hymn for mercy with outstretched hands.

3.having my parents with me to support me physically,strengthen me emotionaly and guide me spiritually in this hour :)

4.for God's abundant mercy...love and care

Acceptance in marriage

18 Yahweh God said, 'It is not right that the man should be alone. I shall make him a helper.'21 Then, Yahweh God made the man fall into a deep sleep. And, while he was asleep, he took one of his ribs and closed the flesh up again forthwith.
22 Yahweh God fashioned the rib he had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man.
23 And the man said: This one at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh! She is to be called Woman, because she was taken from Man.
24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Now, both of them were naked, the man and his wife, but they felt no shame before each other
GENESIS 2:18-25

And hence the first marriage was consumed,in the garden of Eden.what a beautiful institution God had founded.Yet unless the man believes that his wife is the one person God had made exclusive for him out of his own rib,and the woman believes that her husband is the man for which she was made by God the marriage is going to be failure in some level or the other.  How many fathers tell their sons to keep themselves for one girl God has made for him,to whom he owes all his love to ,for whom he should wait prayerfully.How many of the fathers testify to their sons what a blessing his mother had been to his life,because God had chosen her to be his wife and their mother. How many mothers would testify to their daughters ,what a blessing their father had been in her life, because God had chosen him.That she should keep herself like a gift for her man, that God has chosen from eternity,to whom  she owes all her love. Most parents are happy to see the children attain worldly standards, keep social status and marry a boy or a girl who is socially ,physically, educationally and economically suitable.How many parents prayerfully select  and accept their children's spouses as God's will.